Martha and Maria Debate
12 April 2018
So many things I wanted and should have shared already, and life is speeding ahead so fast.
First of all, the truth is, we are actually struggling, YET, I don't ever want to complain, as we still have so much more than a lot of other people.
Second of all, at some point I made peace with the fact that my husband was a workaholic and local do good Samaritan, and I always thought, if I ever am a widow like his Mom, at least what he sow in life, will be returned to me and my children.
My husband we’re perfect in every way. So maybe my expectations of Christian people are very high.
His actions was a testimony and true example of Jesus.
I am mostly a good person, and the example of my husband are imprinted forever. However, I am totally different than him, we were complete opposites and only mastered to work as team, last 3 months after near 16 years of marriage and 21 years together.
Dairy farm manager's marriages are already difficult (a privilege), but especially the few workaholic dairy farm managers I know, it is not easy marriages.
I am a very positive person, and had hopes for happy marriage and was shocked and saddened by how even in church, people nudge you in forgetting that illusion, and to be realistic. I was probably at the wrong church then. However, I never gave up hope to have a full filled and passionate marriage.
A lot of people know our story . I walk with my heart on my sleeve and I am an open book always. Mainly for 2 reasons, in search of help and also well meaning, that sharing is caring. Hopeful that by sharing our issues and solutions, could have help other people avoid similar problems.
Isn't the main objective of life to treat others as you want to be treated, and to be happy?
Now happiness for people means different things.
I will never forget an A-Ha moment in church, in the "mother's room", tears rolling down my face with our 1st born baby girl, feeling so lonely, till this day 14 years later, not part of the local community at all.
But ds. Ben preached that we all have different gifts and talents. That comforted me so much, and I made peace that I will never be the perfect house wife.
There is this forever struggle since beginning of the Bible's history, between women.
The whole Martha and Maria debate.
So, somewhere down the line, I tried my best to be someone that other people expect of me. But, the wisest advice I ever got, was that no one can pretend to be someone you are not, forever.
I am different, always stream up, stubbornly otherwise and further down the line I learned to not be threatened by other people's skills, gifts and Godly talents. But to genuinely admire and compliment them.
That is a skill Herbalife taught me, but in effect, the Bible teach it too...
So I have OCD, my type of OCD, with this illusion that perfection is a world where everybody gets along in peace. Like my husband was. He made the impossible possible. We had guests from all different walks of life on our kids birthday parties. That's why we get so many compliments on our children. They mostly get along with everyone, with people of all walks of life.
My husband was the popular one and the true diplomat, in essence a people pleaser, which he pulled of masterfully, unfortunately, right into death.
I have made peace that his death was God's will for sure, however we are left behind in very complicated situation. All I can do is to believe in God for protection and provision, we are dependent of people's favor, honesty and integrity.
It is difficult to adapt being used to have access to the best. Hard to explain the perfect husband I had, and yet I still nag and complain often. You honestly never really know what you had, before you haven’t lost it.
Anyway, I and all of us, can only pray, as there are so many injustices in this world. Not even the church or government truly look out for the best, for the hard working people and they're families, who need it most. I have come to realize, nobody is coming to help, even when I put my pride away and ask.
I had to learn to help myself. By the grace of God, to use Herbalife Nutrition helped me tremendously. Best investment ever made by me and my husband together as young engaged couple.
Life is a journey, and mistakes will always be made, in the end, we can take no material things with, so the true Challenge is to master body, mind and soul in this fast pace, rat race life.
12 April 2020
Roller coaster of emotions during lockdown.
Literally forced to face the recent death of my Mom, only 4 months today.😢
Missing her and especially missing my husband, who was quite a resourceful provider in difficult times.
However, in a way also very thankful that they both are spared the current troubles of our world.
21 April 2022
Life currently are super complicated at the moment.
I am so excited, yet nervous about this blog. It is a start of a whole new season for me, and even though certain things are more easy now, and it feels like we reach the top of a mountain peak, we are now about to climb another mountain.
As my FB memories appear, I copy and save it in draft on my blog, and hope to publish ASAP, as to get the past behind me and move on to the PRESENT!
God always send angel people to help. However, it is not easy to know who we can trust and who not. Especially since my husband ruled me so beautifully in life, and I still hear his voice in my head. My kids try to rule me and it is not always possible for me to cling to God and obey His voice, commands and instructions. Fear of mistakes, fear of failure, fear of rejection often cloud my judgement and actions. For all this, I can just cling to these words: THIS TOO SHALL PASS. & Rom. 8:28.
If you are reading my blog, thank you for your time and I pray you get value and are blessed by my story.
Treasure your loved ones and be thankful for every season you are in.
12 March 2023
My mother’s name was Martha…coincidentally, and she was a hard working Martha.
I am not a Martha, I am a Maria, and a Ruth.
I somewhere read an article, and I wish I saved it to be able to share it here, but it said something, that if you are a Mary, you need to try and relieve the Martha’s of they’re duties, to give them a break.
Easier said than done.
I LOVE the blog that I am sharing at the end of my blog, A fresh perspective.
There is of course as always, so much more behind the story…..
The spirits of jealousy & comparison having they’re great share on finding easy targets with the daughters of Eve, in this day and age, regardless of equal rights, we ARE fragile and hormonal prone to be emotional.
I am not an expert, and my greatest burden & passion always are to find a solution to save everyone the hurts and pains. Including for myself. The solution truly are only found in Jesus and the Bible, His Word, with a collection of beautiful stories. True stories.
It is not easy to be a Maria, as the Martha’s in life are very hard and like the meaning of the name Martha, they tend to be bitter too. Rightfully, exhausted and irritated with the Maria’s for not living up to they’re standards and expectations.
The Maria’s on the other hand, also rightfully hurt, withdrawing more and more, doing even less and less, in the hope to feel less unworthy and not being hurt more too.
Refreshingly, there are a new breed of women rising up, embracing each other’s uniqueness, each other’s gifts, talents & differences. It takes courage and lots of self confidence to be one of these women.
It takes finding your own identity in Christ first.
It takes finding GRACE with yourself, GRACE with people different than you, not only other women, also men and children. For sure not an easy task. It takes reading the Bible and living it. Take to heart and live biblical principles, especially in times when it feels like things are a mess.
This past year A LOT has happened for me.
My eyes unfortunately has been opened for so many things! My heart is breaking for people’s hurt.
My heart unfortunately gave in to fear, as my eyes also opened for so many bad things going on in the world too. For this too, my heart is breaking.
I can tell this to you, stop being jealous! Stop being bitter.
I have fallen in those traps to often now. Just STOP trying to do it all by yourself, stop trying to save your self, stop doubting God and start to cry out to Him.
I can testify this, just a desperate and very weak, feint prayer out cry:”Lord, help me!”
That is enough.
God loves you.
Jesus loves you.
The Holy Spirit loves you.
Just do your part. Pray. Read your Bible. Go to church.
Align yourself with God.
Now from experience, I know this is hard, but you, and me, we need to let go & Let God.
It is apparently a thing this year. Stop looking back to the past, meaning, stop being stuck there. And I am so guilty and battle to do this myself. It really is very hard to let go, to put down your baggage.
It is so hard for us women to submit, to God, to our husbands, even to sharing with other women.
Let us always remember Jesus example to serve others, not into exhaustion, but in peace and love. Stop wanting to control and be in control, and go into God’s rest, start walking in faith in Him.
Start to bless everyone and everything. Including God and yourself.
May the peace of all understanding come over you, and may you truly have a happy ending to your story, on earth and in heaven.
Love,
Daisy
BLOG Updated & Video added 11 March 2023
Message above added a day later when published.
Story of Mary & Martha at 5:45 minutes.
PS:
As always, excuse the mistakes. I have OCD, but I am not a perfectionist.
Plus, I am battling still with all the technology.
Still a work in progress. Always.
Please contact me with any advice on how to improve. :) )
To find out more about Herbalife or our farm guestshouse, send me a message in CONTACT.
