13 Augustus 2020

Some reflection of this past week....or more.

After our manager unexpectedly quit, and I have the privilege of confusion, to settle in to our guestshouse on the farm again. After two weeks it didn’t feel like a farm holiday anymore, although, thankful for the excuse to have change of scenery after stressful lockdown.

The road is horrible! When it does rain much needed rain, it is a lockdown of another nature. For sure, I don’t have the luxury of taking chances as when my husband was alive. I would hate to be the embarrassing nuisance of a widow, that need to call someone to come and help me out of a muddy, clay ditch.

Proud to say, with some prayers, fear, and later skills, got out some dangerous, wet clay roads, with my staff in car and my children, that first and 2nd year. This 3rd winter, yeah, let’s just wisely stay home as this is the thing for 2020 anyway!

So I am trying to adapt to no routine yet again, as the rain rule our life for sure.

Dentist appointment, let me see the weather forcast first. Groceries, oh dear Lord, worse planning than lockdown when living on a farm. Especially since because of lockdown, there isn’t a budget really.

The house in town has faster internet, but we must remember to put the geyser off and on, otherwise we don’t get through with prepaid electricity. And if we forgot to put geyser on, there is not a warm bath on a cold night. If it is loadshedding, I must remember to get the car out of garage in time, otherwise the automatic door won’t open of close after a while. And then we must remember to not lock us out with front door that are locked from inside certain way!!!! Learning through hard experience!

House on farm, there is always warm water in geyser, as long as we manage to pay very expensive Eskom estimate, no actual since lockdown, and we must remember to check the water tanks and manually pump water from the fountain.

Better have it full before the rain makes the fountain water muddy, and in case of loadshedding, no pump, but with full tank have water pressure.

So, lately, I am really battling with depression, and it is difficult to get out of bed in the morning. Having awesome Herbalife challenge buddies to keep me accountable, helps A LOT!

This week, for my children’s sake, we have to be in town. For some reason, it really upset me to see the memories of my husband and mother here.

My children are really testing me!

Anyway, sharing with permission, my son’s attempt of cheering me up Tuesday when we arrived here, movie night.

Yesterday, was a disaster that ended good.

Everything isn’t perfect, but we are trying. I am so indebted to my Herbalife Nutrition sponsors for always being there for me to help out, and freaken awesome, simply the best courier, who him and his wife have been in school with my husband, Martin & Nicolene Botha, Martin’s Courier!!

My official courier for a very long time now!

So between doing Herbalife, and going to Ko-op to get stuff that was actually needed on the farm past two days, where my staff work unsupervised, will see tommorrow what they done to make me proud of again (hopefully) when walking in meeting there tomorrow afternoon.

And yes, I am doing Herbalife with my old 7 year old Ford Everest, the battle scars hiddend under nice layer of mud, and with lots of rattles and squeaks, not to even mention very messy inside....my husband not there to shout and scream on us, traveling trio, for not cleaning up the car. That was our biggest issue, or rather, my husband had reputation of how “holy” he was on his vehicles. After his death, for a long while I stop screaming at the kids about a messy house or car.....

I cherise the moments it feels like normal when me and kids travel between town and farm, with the kids as DJ and it almost feel just like as if my husband are still working and we will still see him at home again....

Checking up to see if attorney did put notice up at Ko-op about our farm rent tender. Completely nervous about the whole process, that will be a first in the history of 5th generation family farm.... by me, the daughter-in-law who decided to give up everything, just because I love God so much, that I still submit to my late husband as head of home and stay put for my mother-in-law and children’s sake. Giving up the chance to go back and live with my family again.

So, as homeschooling Mom, looking back, this is not what they taught at school. This is not what the typical expectation is of going to school, get a grade and what is the expectation.....

I mean, already after we got married, we we’re so lucky to fall pregnant easy and in the space of past 20 years, that whole scenario of a marriage, of husband and wife, and getting pregnant normally; has radically changed.

Reflecting the whole bloody virus surprise and lockdown shock, hearing all the stories of companies going under.....

Nothing can help you survive, if you are not flexible.

So it is living day by day, not easy with my OCD!

Whether we deliver fire wood or Herbalife, doing other farm business, guestshouse, and even if we must bake cake and milktart to sell, or sometimes pleasantly be surprised by delivery of sweets or groceries, family deposit money or send envelope with cash or friends blessing us beyond what we can ever even repay them.

We still have a roof over our head, food to eat and we have made it so far. Day by day, week by week, month by month and almost 3 years without my superman husband.

End of March I was paralyzed with fear and could have never imagined surviving lockdown without my husband by my side.

Everything we have and everything that has got us so far, are absolutely all by the grace of God alone.

My heart goes out to everyone who have been affected negatively and much worse than us in lockdown.

I am feeling a failure for all the wrong reasons.

If the end of the world does happen to come soon, as so many people predict, a clean house, or that picture perfect life people lable success with, will mean nothing.

So I think, the greatest challenge now, is to survive on earth now with an eternal home vision.

Not easy.... yet again, only doable by the grace of God alone!

13 August 2020

Totally unexpected spoils.

I am still in awe with emotion to receive this blessing again, through one of my challengers.

Really battling since 31 July, my Mom’s first birthday in heaven, coming up to 30 August the 3 year anniversary of my husband’s going to heaven.

I would have been lost without Herbalife Nutrition and these Challenges!

Specifically the group of Amazing ladies who started during lockdown.

Some ladies a journey of three to four years together.

Really in awe and in tears, trembling to be yet again receive such spoils in lockdown from a very hardworking, young mother and very special lady.

Receiving it with tremendous gratitude.

Also want to testify for God, I am blessing as many people I can. Carefully listening to the Holy Spirit’s voice who and how and what.

Not only has Herbalife always in my past 20 years been amazing tool and instrument in God’s Hands, but I can honestly testify that if your hands are open to give, you also receive.

Not that the intention is to give, to receive. But test God with this, and always start with your church first.

All to glory to God for so many blessings!

More than the amazing Rewards through Herbalife Nutrition already.

13 August 2021

Such a happy memory.

The uncertain privilege and joy, to contribute to a church bazaar.

Ever since I married my husband, I just wanted to be involved with the church community and basaars. This was a dream come true.

I was raised in a Dutch Reformed Christian home, with many happy memories from church basaars. The best one’s on the farm community with my grandparents in Oudtshoorn.

Returning from our honeymoon, we planned to attend my parent’s church bazaar at Great Break River at night and drive straight though the night to take my widowed mother-in-law to the annual big bazaar in Kareedouw.

It is a traditional thing….

My mother-in-law was baptized and married in Kareedouw, my husband and both are children baptized in that very same church, where he’s funeral also was.

After everything, I just don’t know what was the purpose.

Officially we are still members of that church.

I kept on paying our regular monthly Tything for more than a year after my husband’s death, never heard or see anything or anyone after my husband’s funeral. When I stopped paying, nobody enquired.

We weren’t missed or possibly not important enough? We definitely we’re not worth the effort…..

I since found a new church, who are trying they’re best to help pick up the pieces of the mess that we’re made, for us to have lost our faith in God, church and people.

13 August 2016

Very proud of my children and ouf efforts.

Baie trots op my kiddies wat fluks gehelp het vir kerk basaar se kindertafel.

Was pret, al is dit nie perfek ;)!

13 August 2022

Everything so far has been preparation. I have lost most of my Herbalife Nutrition team and business by now.

As we are hitting in a way the toughest month ever, since my husband passed away; not only for us, but so many people are now struggling worse than in lockdown.

It is hard in the winter and it is tough on the kids.

Yet, in a way it is bringing back beautiful memories of the humble beginnings of our marriage and family, when we we’re poor and happy together.

It’s teaching us to appreciate abundance more, it is pulling us as a family together and teaches us humility.

It is teaching me to trust in God more than ever before.

I have no fear. I am at peace.

I don’t want to be strong anymore. I miss my husband’s presence, the strength and ease with which he got things done, that now consume my time and prevent me from being just a women, mother and doing Herbalife Nutrition.

Counting down to end of this Winter.

Spring always come again.

Praying for revival and for God to restore unto us, all that we lost.

Love,

Daisy

PS:

As always, excuse the mistakes. I have OCD, but I am not a perfectionist..

Still a work in progress. (Always & Forever)

Please contact me with any advice on how to improve. :) )

To find out more about Herbalife or our farm guestshouse, send me a message in CONTACT

Lock down Memories and some more.