The fight for normality.
5 June 2019
Hitting a low last week, mild low and I am not allowed to make any medical claims, but how awesome to get paid to eat right, do exercise and read motivation books.
Yet, last week, nothing seem to help, not all the Herbalife Nutrition supplements, not worship and praise music. Or it helped that it wasn’t worse.
So as I try pick myself up, a tragedy happen Friday night that affects the whole community and hits close to home.
And it feels like everything is just to much.
Thank God for an AMAZING pastor lady!! With incredible wisdom never judge me.
As I took the courage and reach out to her about this whole drama upon drama, which feels like it keep on hitting us in waves.
I think what hit us hardest, is that we did not only lose my husband, but we lost everyone with him.
People deliberately avoid us. We googled it, and it is normal apparently, as we remind them of they’re own fatality. We remind them of death, loss, hurt, pain.
God has blessed us with so many new amazing angel friends.
It hurts when you already fight a battle just to get out of bed and survive mentally in a “normal” world, being labeled negatively as a “dreamer, boaster, lazy, scattered, crazy” and who knows what else, and have gone through so much past two years and are really trying to forgive and forget and reach out, but nothing.
My brain is so confused. I am trying to analyze the situation, trying to find a solution and pray to God for a miracle.
The sad thing is, the last year my husband lived, I was normal, little people knew this, and my brain remembers how it was to be normal.
I suffered a great deal of trauma and coped extremely well, if the people close to me don’t acknowledge it, a lot of other people do and I do acknowledge myself.
So in this 4th month in our new dream house, as there comes a bit of routine and things become little bit more easy, there are constant new challenges, trials and tribulations.
I feel like I want to break and give in.
But then I wake up, have my Herbalife shake, simply the best breakfast ever and check in with all my accountability partners on different challenges groups and see there efforts, and someone take note when I go silent and ask from the group, am I OK? Then I don’t feel forgotten anymore.
I get strength every new morning to go on.
Just 3 more months to survive this winter and hope to reach zero, like balancing zero on a journal of my life, to reach the point where I don’t have to fight against the stream to survive and to start live with increase of my Godly purpose.
Praying to be able to stand strong against anything that still might come and try and break me.
Having tremendous respect and gratitude for those super people, like how my husband was, that can just go on, regardless of any emotional trauma and drama and just show up consistently, be dependable and live life full out.
They are the true brave and strong ones!
I also have the utmost sympathy and empathy for those who look normal on the outside, but are like me, everyday fighting a battle in your mind.
Mariskaburger4ever💚
5 June 2021
This past week....
I bought our first ever sitting room set.
2nd hand.
Yet, to us it is the most beautiful and priceless thing.
We we’re so poor, we could never afford a lounge suite.
The embuia heritage sitting room set, the only thing my husband had of his late father, burned down in storage, after people break in and set it alight.
My Mom gave us they’re old lounge suit, that is currently still very well look after, in our farm guestshouse.
Then I kindly asked if we can get my mother-in-law’s old lounge suite, when my sister-law got her Mom a brand new one, that my husband never had the privilege to see. Her old set was a hand me down, from my husband’s previous employer.
We appreciate all our guests who braved the low, hard couches. Our back aches we’re probably because of sitting wrong.
Now we want to sleep in these comfy new couches. They feel softer than our beds.
I cleaned it, and just just made it before loadshedding to enjoy it.
It has 3 colors of beige.
Somehow, someway, by the grace of God, through this universe, it is PERFECT! My daughter said, it looks like something I would have chosen myself.
After a very long month, with lots of extra expenses, I can’t believe this was made possible.
It is the most grownup thing we own, in my humble opinion.
It was so sad too, as we we’re about to buy a leather lounge suite, but when my husband died, all the plans we had, changed.
None of what we have now, would have been possible without what he worked hard for in life.
He would have loved to come home after long hard working day, to relax in these couches.
Amidst of all the struggles and hard times, we are mighty thankful for this blessing at affordable price.
7 July 2022
It is just unreal how fast this year is flying by!
I am giving up to find normality.
Things will never be the same. One thing I learned very quickly in Herbalife Nutrition is that changed is constant.
To expect the unexpected. To make the best of whatever comes your way.
ADAPT!!!
For someone who married my husband partly too because I was attracted to the low risk factor, routine and security, opposed to my upbringing with parents as entrepreneurs with high risk, uncertainty and adventure; I am just on the fence between the two radical lifestyles.
Currently we for sure live in unprecedented times and it is an incredible challenge to adapt fast enough to survive.
God so willed it, perfectly timed that I could join BNI.
It is hard to explain just how incredibly SPOT ON, Holy Spirit aligned this Devine Intervention is.
At my first meeting, I thought nope, I don’t know if I as Christian belong there, BUT GOD!!
I heard Him say, STAY and be the influence and difference. So regardless who, where and why, you will always here me testify for God and give Him all the glory.
As these extraordinary people steadily uplift me, I am being nudged to get going with Herbalife Nutrition Challenges again AND to start working with men.
It is uncomfortable for me without my husband, but what an honor and privilege to make a positive difference in people’s lives.
A healthy body, host a healthy soul and mind. So the MISSION is NUTRITION.
This company and everything about it is just brilliant and overall MLM companies are for people with a love of God, themselves and they’re fellowman.
Take care of you, for me!
Ready or not, perfect or not, we are starting with Challenges again. If I did it once, I can do it again.
It is a new season with lots of new beginnings!
Love,
Daisy
We are very happy to support a worthy cause and Non Profit organization, part of our local BNI.
PS:
As always, excuse the mistakes. I have OCD, but I am not a perfectionist..
Still a work in progress.
Please contact me with any advice on how to improve. :) )
To find out more about Herbalife or our farm guestshouse, send me a message in CONTACT
PS: 21 August 2022
YOU ARE NOT (and were never intended to be) ENOUGH
“…but He has said to me,
“My grace is sufficient for you [My lovingkindness and My mercy are more than enough—always available—regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness.”
Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ [may completely enfold me and] may dwell in me.”
2 Corinthians 12:9 AMP
